MORE ABOUT KINDERIA RENEE
More about Kinderia Renee: Today, I will be peeling back another layer to let you into my little circle of life. I am going to be sharing with you, more about me, and what my life has entailed thus far. I will touch on my background, growing up, and some the key players that shaped me into the person, woman, and mother that I am today. We all go through things in life that we can attribute to some aspect of our lives or the reasons why we are the way we are or behave in the ways that we do.
I believe my history is an important part of who I am. I am not ashamed of it. In fact, I would like to share with you, (at my own pace), my experiences – good and bad. These experiences all contribute to Kinderia Renee in different ways, but all have been crucial in forming the Kinderia Renee I have become.
Where I’m From
Hailing from a little city, just outside of Orlando, Florida by the name of Sanford. Coined “The City of Pedophiles”, I always refer to my hometown as one of the worst places you ever want to raise a family. Sanford is known to many as the city where all the pedophilia occurs. As you will later find out, Sanford’s has a long history of child molestation that has been covered up and swept under rugs. You will also later find out about what happened to me and how I was more than happy to rid myself of that awful place.
As you can tell, I am not too fond of this little town and the history it holds. I am not ashamed to say that I am from this place, more like proud because I was able to make it out.
My Upbringing
Raised by a single mother of 5, I came from humble beginnings, and a strong solid upbringing. Being raised in the house with all of my siblings, I know first-hand how it goes when there is just not enough to go around. My siblings and I grew up very close and were constantly with each other. From family trips to sibling rivalry, there isn’t a single moment I would trade. Ensuring that we all stuck together, mom didn’t have very much family support or great examples of family, marriage, or even any togetherness.
Coming from a cycle of young mothers, my situation was entirely different from that of my ancestors. Something happened to me that would mold and shape my entire life and the relationships within it.
My Mother
My mother is the strongest person I’ve ever known. Becoming a grandmother at age 29, she has been through hell and back. Instilling in us the values she knew and was raised with; she did whatever she could to see to it that we had everything we needed, and some of the things we wanted. Even if that means she had to go without.
We knew what it means to look after your siblings because mom is killing herself working 2 or more jobs to keep the lights on and food on the table. Seeing my mom skip meals just to make sure we eat every night. Things weren’t always tough, because my mother made sure we never saw the bad stuff. We never saw her low moments, sadness, or struggles. She is a head-strong woman who let nothing get in the way of her handling her business and doing what she had to do for her children. I accredit all my successes, inner strengths, highlights, examples, and voices of reasoning to her. I am proud to call her my mother and would not be the woman I am today, had she given up on me.
The Trauma
Growing up I was a shy, quiet child. I don’t remember being as outgoing as I was in later years. Being timid must have made me a target; because none of us had any idea a grown man was going to begin taking advantage of my family and causing irreversible trauma that would stick with my family for the rest of our lives. I was molested from age 8 to age 11, by someone very near and dear to my family that resulted in me bearing a child. Though I will not divulge all of the details in this post, I can assure you that my story is coming.
I want to share my story with the hopes of helping someone else. The hope that by hearing what I went through, it gives someone else the courage to stand up or come forward. The person that violated me and my family is still incarcerated to this very day and has no expectation of being release for the rest of his life. I feel that detailing my experiences can help others heal and also help to make people aware of some of the red flags that may have been present and could have prevented this trauma from occurring. Though I don’t have any answers for why this happened; I am definitely happy that it did, because it molded me into the wonderful woman that I am today!
The Counseling
After the trauma, I went through years of counseling that has greatly attributed to the molding of my character, and my decision making going forward. I was counseled for approximately 6 years by a wonderful woman, who at the time, was very young, new, and sympathetic to my situation. Don’t worry, I will later reveal who that woman is and what she did for me.
Without the counseling I received, I would not have grown in a way that later allowed me to forgive my abuser and move on with my life. The counseling I received empowered me to not allow myself to be a victim. It showed me that the situation didn’t have to control my life. I am so thankful for the counseling because it was an integral part of my childhood healing, parenting, and early adulthood relationships.
My counselor exposed me to parenting classes, Lamaze classes, community and social events that helped me to remove self-doubt, and push to be a better person, mother, and contributor.
Growing Up and Adulting
Forced to grow up before my time, I was raising a child while in the process of growing up, myself. As the ladies from the church would say, I was “Just A Baby With A Baby”. Taking my child to school with me and everywhere else I traveled. I matured before other girls my age, I was more disciplined than other girls my age, and I was a parent, who maintained her grades, got proper counseling, and developed into a social butterfly who excelled at nearly everything except relationships. Growing up with a child exposed me to all sorts of experiences that were definite eye openers in the growing process.
I still experienced most things young girls my age experienced, just in a different way or at a later time, depending on the event. But there were also many things that I didn’t get to partake in, since I was already a mother.
There is no way I would have grown to be as strong as I am without the help and support of my mother who took care of both me and my daughter. Ensuring we had everything under the sun needed to be productive, sound, sane, and contributing human beings. The lessons she instilled in me has helped me be a great, disciplined, no-nonsense mother who goes above and beyond for my children to ensure they become great human beings.
All Grown Up
I am now 37 years of age. This life has taught me many lessons. I have had many ups and downs. I’ve laughed until I almost peed my pants. I’ve cried until my tear ducts just couldn’t produce another tear. And I’ve smiled through it all, thanks to the strength of my mother. I’ve raised a child, while being raised. I’ve made it through school, trauma, drama, violence, and shame. There is nothing I cannot conquer, control, or defeat.
My oldest daughter is now 26 years old, out of college and running a successful business of her own. I have 3 other children who are all honors students, who make the Principals A-B honor roll every year and receive multiple awards at every ceremony. I am solid in my parenting, work ethic, communication skills, and mental and emotional stability. Not to say that I am perfect in any way. I am proud to say that have a long way to go, I have a lot to learn, and I look forward to the journey ahead.
I have my upbringing, my mother, my counselor and my trauma to thank for the amazing woman that I am today.
Thanks for Reading!